All my life. I can't remember a moment that someone's presence was not felt. As I got older I would occasionally hear a single voice from nowhere; "Do you love me?" For years I pondered the moment of that voice. Profound. Succinct. No prelude, no prolouge. Whether I responded or not, it would be there then gone. If I responded, there was no response.
Out of the blue a girl would come into my life. A girl of wonder and excitement and borderline obsessiveness. To a man, the stroking of an ego along with anything else is definitely all that it takes for any woman to get a man for the most part. And so it was. Robert Frost wrote "...would it be an act of treason to bow with grace to the end of love or a season." And so too I would see love come and go. Grow and die. And still the voice was there; "Do you love me?"
The pattern was interesting. I summed it up to friends in various ways. "You meet the most beautiful most wonderful girl... and then you marry her." Or, "They can't be nice forever." And so it would go. The aggressive desire for posession of my heart. Almost as if they had been posessed. And eventually disorientation, confusion, anger and then withdrawl. So I started to wonder about the voice. I do not believe in reincarnation. There are spirits in this world, but I believe that those that die sleep until final judgement. You only get one time around. In ancient times giants were in this world. Fallen angels, agents of lucifer mated with human females. Their offsprings were giants. Biblical accounts list them as eighteen feet in height. Mythology perhaps refers to these being in the stories of ancient gods. God flooded the world to preserve a pure human blood line. He wan't mean by the act of the flood. The rest of the world population was anything but truly human. This planet was terraformed out of the ruins of the ancient world before Genesis 1:2 and ordained for us and us alone. So the spectres and voices are perhaps those of spirits still desirous of the ways of human flesh. Ways we experience and try to understand. Ways these spirits desire for experience. And so the thought of a person, posessed. A woman occupied by another. And for a time functioning in unison in a relationship until the original person begins to rebel and once again demand release from her bondage and breaks free from spirit bondage only to awaken to find herself in life she had not intended. At this point a man observes a woman in distress. But nonetheless not the woman he thought he knew and loved. In days past, in days when without a man a woman had no rights or property or heritage she might stay. But she would be resentful and unhappy. In our modern world she can move on. And against the lies of our romantic teachings, pursuit is not a good thing. Sometimes best to stand ones ground and let one go than to think that pursuit in a paranoid culture is a good thing. So rebelled against and kicked out, the spirit rebounds until another suitable host is found and occupied and the cycle begins again. It's not that women are unhappy as a lot, they are just posessed for awhile.
